Today’s not so bad really...is it? I rested all day yesterday, it was boring, frustrating (to the point of tears) and depressing but once I’d resigned myself to a day on the sofa, I did my best to go with it ~ feet up, wrapped in a blanket with a cup of tea and the laptop for company. The kids have been away with their dad since Friday and won’t be home until tomorrow morning so I need to take advantage of the time I have to rest so that by the time they come home I have the energy to do something productive with them.
Not only is coping with the constant pain (chronic pain the medical profession call it) exhausting, but the disease itself leaves me feeling absolutely drained ~ my body feels like lead and the simplest tasks can feel like really hard work.
I woke up with a stonking headache this morning, this often happens when I take a lot of painkillers and especially if I take them at night to help me sleep, it feels a bit like a hangover, that dehydrated little men with hammers inside your head feeling. But I was determined to get out for a walk with the dogs today; I couldn’t face another day of confinement. So I met up with Carolyn & Salena, two fab ladies I met a few years ago when I first got Homer ~ we first met while out walking our respective dogs but have since gone on to become really good friends and we try to meet up most days, work & family commitments allowing. They had planned to walk up the hill in the village where we live but I asked if they minded if we stuck to the fields as I just couldn’t manage the climb today. Of course, they didn’t mind but I did. I want to be able to walk where I like, not have to tailor my adventures to suit Arthur, I don’t see why he should have the last say on what I do but sometimes...he does!
So we walked a well trodden route around the fields to the east of our village but today I suggested we extend the walk a bit and go on a bit further to link up with another favourite route. We weren’t in a particular hurry, it was quite a lovely morning so why not. We easily walked about 4 miles and it was thoroughly enjoyable. The dogs had a great time playing together and we chatted & put the world to rights. I came home feeling so much happier, lighter & more positive. Once I get moving & my body loosens up I can walk for miles, but when I stop again it can be murder!
So I took advantage of my body feeling more fluid & energised when I got back from my walk to get a few jobs done but now I find myself back on the sofa, wrapped in blankets with my feet up again. I feel cold & shivery and I can’t seem to get warm and I have shooting pains through my left elbow & right ankle which feel a bit like really bad toothache, horrible feeling. My period is also due any day and that seems to magnify the feeling of exhaustion, and the hormonal changes in my body make being patient a challenge! And I still have a headache!
So...I have no option, I have to sit back, relax and go with it...for today anyway!
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